So after prayer, chatting with my sisters, and many hours of contemplation I have discovered that the grieving process takes a LONG time. As you know from my previous post, I have been feeling very blue lately. I am sure now that it was a combination of things, especially not getting enough alone/quiet time. In missing out on this time, I have pushed certain feelings aside and not let them be expressed in any way. This has erupted into sadness… The importance of alone time for me is to just be able to pray and sort through my life; things that have happened, are going on, and coming up.
After getting some much needed me-time, I realize that I really miss my mom. I miss talking to her about my pregnancy and Mae, what she will be like. How, even after having one baby, I am still scared about the delivery. I want to tell her about my super fun shower, and how wonderful my sisters and friends are. And, I miss that joyful sound in her voice when she would tell me how happy she is and excited she is about her new granddaughter…
I also realize that I have many wonderful friends that I need to call on when I need them. I am so blessed to have friends that love me and my family, and that would do anything we need, when we need them. God is so faithful in this way. His body is not only for His glory, but also for our benefit. We are to bear with one another in Love… take care of each other, as members of one body. I just love God’s word, and how it never fails to comfort and bring me joy.
So other than the tears during the writing of this post, I am feeling very joyful. I woke up feeling joyful! This last week I have been able to catch up with friends, have some much needed me-time, and I started to feel an overwhelming sense of excitement for the arrival of my sweet Mae, Mazie Judith Tucker. Named after mom, Judith Elaine Moore.
“Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning. You have turned my mourning into dancing; you have losed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, that my Glory may sing your praise and not be silent. O Lord, my God, I will give thanks to you forever!!” Psalm 30:5, 11-12